Kirk, the eternal captain

I was not the first to complain about how quickly Kirk goes from cadet to captain in the new Star Trek film. In general I have trouble with how the film rushes to put every Enterprise crewmember in their "right" place. The original Star Trek series suggests a much more realistic history for the Enterprise roster, such as having Spock served under Captain Pike for some time before serving under Kirk.

But I was thinking, after watching the rerelease of the Genesis trilogy, that given that Kirk is demoted from Admiral to Captain in Star Trek IV: The Voyage Home, and remained at that rank at least until Star Trek: Generations, and the Federation President's remarks that Kirk is best-suited to be a starship captain, that perhaps it's not such a bad thing that Kirk rises to that rank so quickly in the new film. I don't know if Orci and Kurtzmann were thinking about these things when they wrote their screenplay. I know they have an audio commentary on Voyage Home, but I haven't gotten around to listening to it.

Still not impressed by Orci & Kurtzman

So I was reading in Creative Screenwriting magazine how Roberto Orci and Alex Kurtzman are patting themselves on the back for making the new Star Trek film both depend on almost everything that has happened to Spock's character from the original series through Star Trek: The Next Generation but at the same time not be restricted by having to respect previously established continuity.

I'm still not impressed. All that effort to create a story that is not particularly memorable. Once audiences leave the theater, if they're not too worn out by the non-stop noise, they'll reflect upon what they've just seen and realize that there's no depth to the story, no philosophical meat whatsoever. The villain, Nero, is such cardboard, that he doesn't live up to the hype Eric Bana has tried to create with talk show appearances. For some reason Orci & Kurtzman seem to think that Star Trek requires clear-cut villains. Well, I do know the reason: Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan. But Eric Bana can't begin to compare to Ricardo Montalban. And in any case, they are wrongly giving short shrift to the best Star Trek movie so far, Star Trek IV: The Voyage Home. Sure you can say the villains are the whale hunters, but you can also say that the villains are 20th Century humans. Food for thought is what the best Star Trek is. Constant explosions and cliffhangers I can get from any run-of-the-mill thriller.

And really, is established Star Trek canon really that restrictive? In fact, Orci and Kurtzman use some of it in their screenplay, like the tidbit about the Kobayashi Maru mentioned in Wrath of Khan. Let's say each of the original series episodes spans two weeks. That would barely account for two years of the original 5-year mission, and there's plenty of time between Kirk graduating from Starfleet Academy and getting command of the Enterprise. In fact, it was rather silly to put Kirk in the captain's chair so quickly.

But most of all, at the risk of Leonard Nimoy calling me a d---head, I really disliked the Nokia product placement in the film. Are Kirk's guardians going to get a Nokia bill in the mail? I don't care how many Romulans from the future you send, Nokia phones should be museum pieces by Kirk's time. This is what you chucked Star Trek canon by the wayside for? Nokia product placements? Really!!??