Jay Leno: the millionaire's comedian

So Jay Leno for the most part tries to cultivate this image of himself as an average kind of guy. But in his monologue last night on the Tonight Show he showed his true colors as a rich man who has forgotten his humble roots with one unfunny joke that soured me on the rest of the monologue:

Commenting on Obama's remarks to the private sector encouraging them to hire more people, Leno joked "Because only Government hires more people than it needs." If it hadn't been for that joke, I think I might have actually laughed at his later joke about TSA workers unionizing (something about getting patted down at the airport by one TSA worker while a bunch of other TSA workers just stand around watching). I didn't watch "Headlines," I tuned out at the commercial break.

I don't know if Jay Leno is playing dumb about a little concept known as "overwork and underpay" (or, as it's known to the middle class, "overworked and underpaid") or if he's genuinely ignorant about it. But in case he really doesn't know about it, here's how it goes: say your company actually needs 10 men to properly carry out a periodically occurring assignment. What you do is you lay off 5 of those men but you pay the remaining 5 (get ready for this, because it'll knock your socks off) you pay them exactly the same as when they had those other 5 colleagues. If they complain that they can't do the job like this, remind them that you have plenty of willing workers to replace them, if need be show them a couple of boxes just filled with résumés. Maybe Government really is hiring more people than it needs. But with the private sector not hiring as many people as it needs, Government just can't pick up the slack. And then debt collectors wonder why people have fallen behind on their payments. Gee, you don't have a job, and your family members and your friends don't either? Gee, I wonder how that could have happened? We'll take your house and car anyway.

Maybe I would've laughed at the TSA joke on another night. But if I did laugh at a joke about TSA workers unionizing, it would mean that I have forgotten two very important details: one, that TSA workers are federal employees doing their jobs, and two, that without unions, the rich feel free to walk all over the working man without any remorse whatsoever.

And another thing: if Jay Leno had been in Conan O'Brien's shoes, getting laid off from NBC, do you think he would have made any effort to help the laborers also laid off?

Nitpicker-proofing the Tonight Show

As of last week, Cody Deveraux, the brooding vampire on The Tonight Show with Conan O'Brien, has committed suicide nine times (or ten times, I don't know, I lost count somewhere). And I laugh every time, even though he meets his death in exactly the same way, exposed to the same sun in the same cloudless sky.

He appeared again last night, and once again ran out of the stage to meet his death in the sun. But as Conan had remarked earlier in the show, it had rained in Los Angeles that day, and the temperature had dropped to a frosty 61 degrees. This prompted Andy Richter to nitpick the bit right on the show, mentioning not only the rain but also the fact that Cody has died nine times prior. Actually, he said ten, but the point is that Cody has died before multiple times. In response, Conan wondered that this is the point at which the bit lost credibility for Andy.

Conan makes a lot of predictable jokes. Yes, Larry King is old, Kristie Alley is fat, New Jersey stinks, big whoop, move on. But I still laugh about the vampire and the wolf boy. And for what it's worth, I'd go crazy for the wolf boy but not the vampire.

Y3K

First off, let me say that I love the music of the "Year 3000" sketches on The Tonight Show with Conan O'Brien and the cinematography of it, but I have never found it funny. I'm told that in the 1990s the skit was "In the year 2000..." but now that 2000 has come and gone, it had to be moved up. I can only imagine that La Bamba's song had the same melody, and the year 3000 is futuristic enough without requiring a significant change to his song. But the humor hasn't been adjusted to match that far-off time frame. Conan O'Brien and Andy Richter frequently mention in the context of the skit present-day celebrities who will certainly be dead by the year 3000. For me at least, that's enough to distract my funny bone.

Are you sure an electric car can get 230 mpg?

Maybe I shouldn't be nitpicking late night comedy, but here goes: yesterday, in his monologue in the Tonight Show, Conan O'Brien incredulously quoted the news that GM says the electric Chevy Volt can get 230 miles per gallon. He contacted a GM spokesman "by satellite" who said the Volt can achieve that mpg if going downhill, with a sail, on a car transport truck which in turn is on a conveyor belt. Funny ha ha. But my question is: if the Volt is an electric car, what is the substance of which a gallon makes it go for 230 miles?