The film: Superman IV: The Quest for Peace, starring Christopher Reeve and Gene Hackman. It's another one of those lousy Golan-Globus productions, so I almost feel like a bully for nitpicking it. We must let go any nit that arises solely from lack of a budget for special effects, it's not worth it. The film's message of peace activism is a good one, but with the production being so flawed, not many people will hear the message, much less take it to heart.
What happened: Lex Luthor (Gene Hackman) steals a strand of Superman's hair from a museum and uses it to create a powerful adversary for Superman, Nuclear Man (Mark Pillow). Nuclear Man's Achilles' heel is that he needs sunlight to feed his powers. Luthor summons Superman (Christopher Reeve) to his lair to meet Nuclear Man, and soon the two start fighting. It's daytime in Metropolis (New York) when Superman and Nuclear Man go way above the Earth's atmosphere and fight in outer space. Then they drop back down to Earth, where Nuclear Man endangers tourists by smashing a section of the Great Wall.
Why it makes no sense whatsoever: You don't need a big special effects budget to know certain basic science facts. For one, that the Earth is round and that New York and China are almost on opposite sides: New York is in time zone UTC -5 (give or take one for daylight savings time, I forget which) and China is UTC +8. Superman and Nuclear Man can get to China in a matter of minutes, but it still takes the Earth about twelve hours to bring into sunlight what is now in darkness. Or do you mean to tell me that Superman and Nuclear Man fought in outer space for about twelve hours? Well, maybe I can believe that.
But later in the film, Nuclear Man kidnaps Lacy Warfield (Mariel Hemingway) and takes her into outer space. Superman moves the Moon to block the sunlight empowering Nuclear Man (we can only hope he puts the Moon back in its right place afterwards, and that the change in tides that must've resulted from that move had no major negative consequences). Nuclear Man lets go of Lacy. Lacy then FALLS DOWNWARD IN OUTER SPACE!!! Superman rescues her, and she's apparently OK from the lack of oxygen. Was Nuclear Man somehow generating an atmosphere for her to breathe, and did Superman take over that duty once he picker her up?
Look, if you can't afford to hire a science consultant, at least go to the used book store and pick up any high school science textbook written within the last hundred years.
Showing posts with label Superman. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Superman. Show all posts
Saturday, August 1, 2009
Thursday, July 30, 2009
You can control the weather with a satellite? Really?
The film: Superman III, starring Christopher Reeve and Richard Pryor.
What happened: Gus Gorman (Richard Pryor), is a computer whiz tasked by his boss with ruining Colombia's coffee crop with excessive rain. Gus commandeers a satellite and causes a hurricane to pour down on Colombia's coffee fields. Superman shows up in time to dissipate the hurricane and dry out the crops.
Why it makes no sense: What exactly is it that the satellite does to cause rain? Does it shoot lasers at the clouds? Does it drop moisture on the clouds? The science on this particular fiction makes about as much sense as that in Weird Science, but at least Weird Science doesn't pretend to give plausible scientific explanations for its fantastic events. But the Superman films try to sometimes: for example, the "dense molecular structure" of Kryptonians such as Kal-El and Zod which give them superhuman strength when they are on a planet illuminated by a yellow sun. Therefore, in Superman III, it's not too much to ask for some halfway plausible explanation of how a satellite orbiting the Earth far above its atmosphere could have any influence on its weather.
And even if we accept the notion that a satellite can change the weather in a controllable way in a specific part of the world, doesn't Colombia have other crops which the United States would want destroyed by any means available?
What happened: Gus Gorman (Richard Pryor), is a computer whiz tasked by his boss with ruining Colombia's coffee crop with excessive rain. Gus commandeers a satellite and causes a hurricane to pour down on Colombia's coffee fields. Superman shows up in time to dissipate the hurricane and dry out the crops.
Why it makes no sense: What exactly is it that the satellite does to cause rain? Does it shoot lasers at the clouds? Does it drop moisture on the clouds? The science on this particular fiction makes about as much sense as that in Weird Science, but at least Weird Science doesn't pretend to give plausible scientific explanations for its fantastic events. But the Superman films try to sometimes: for example, the "dense molecular structure" of Kryptonians such as Kal-El and Zod which give them superhuman strength when they are on a planet illuminated by a yellow sun. Therefore, in Superman III, it's not too much to ask for some halfway plausible explanation of how a satellite orbiting the Earth far above its atmosphere could have any influence on its weather.
And even if we accept the notion that a satellite can change the weather in a controllable way in a specific part of the world, doesn't Colombia have other crops which the United States would want destroyed by any means available?
Thursday, June 25, 2009
Dissing the SecDef
The movie: Superman II, in either the Lester or the Donner cut. Both cuts are available on DVD, but as far as I can tell, only the Donner cut is available on Blu-Ray. On VHS, probably only the Lester cut is available. The following nit applies to both cuts.
What happened: There is an explosion in space which frees three Krypton criminals from the "phantom zone." The leader of the three, General Zod (Terence Stamp) realizes that as they get closer to Earth, their powers increase. The three of them go to East Houston, where they're confronted by the U. S. Army. All of the Army's weapons prove useless against them, and the news reporter realizes that the three newcomers are as strong as Superman. General Zod confronts the squadron's Commanding General (Don Fellows): "So you too are a general," Zod says, tearing off the four stars on the Army General's left shoulder. "Who is your leader?" Zod asks. The General says "I answer only to the President."
What the problem is: First of all, if the General only answers to the President, why is he standing at attention for Zod? Shouldn't a four-star general have more swagger than a small-town sheriff (such as the one Zod encounters earlier in the film)? Also, why did Lester choose the fruitiest possible line reading from Don Fellows? Donner's choice is not much better, as the angry line reading gives the subtext of "But I'm afraid of you."
Printed on the script, the line is the same. And it has another problem: the writers neglected to look at a real chain of command. There are two layers of civilian leadership between the President and a four-star general: the Secretary of the Army and the Secretary of Defense. When the General says he answers only to the President, he's in fact dissing the two Secretaries. A Sergeant may pray to God directly, but he had better talk to a few officers before talking to the General. Likewise, the General should talk to the Secretary of the Army before going to the President. Also, at the time the film was made, there was still the theoretical possibility of a five-star General, which would be yet another layer of leadership between a four-star general and the President.
You might be saying "Well, maybe in the world the movie takes place in, generals really do answer directly to the President." Let's say the Army in the movie has ten four-star generals. There would also be at least two four-stars in the Marine Corps and maybe another ten from the Air Force, plus ten four-star admirals in the Navy. That would mean at more than thirty four-star officers for the President to supervise directly, not to mention the Directors of the CIA, NSA, FBI, INS, etc. The President would be a much busier man. So it makes much more sense for all the four-star officers to report to one of three Secretaries (Marine four-star generals answer to the Secretary of the Navy), and those three Secretaries answer to the Secretary of Defense. The President, instead of getting reports from thirty different subordinates, just gets a report from the Secretary of Defense.
Also, how does Zod know that four stars on the shoulder means "General"? There are so many trinkets and baubles on an Army uniform that an alien can be forgiven if he doesn't know which one signifies rank. I suppose that if we accept that Kal-el's diamond-enclosed "S" is a pre-existing symbol from Krypton, we should let this one go.
What happened: There is an explosion in space which frees three Krypton criminals from the "phantom zone." The leader of the three, General Zod (Terence Stamp) realizes that as they get closer to Earth, their powers increase. The three of them go to East Houston, where they're confronted by the U. S. Army. All of the Army's weapons prove useless against them, and the news reporter realizes that the three newcomers are as strong as Superman. General Zod confronts the squadron's Commanding General (Don Fellows): "So you too are a general," Zod says, tearing off the four stars on the Army General's left shoulder. "Who is your leader?" Zod asks. The General says "I answer only to the President."
What the problem is: First of all, if the General only answers to the President, why is he standing at attention for Zod? Shouldn't a four-star general have more swagger than a small-town sheriff (such as the one Zod encounters earlier in the film)? Also, why did Lester choose the fruitiest possible line reading from Don Fellows? Donner's choice is not much better, as the angry line reading gives the subtext of "But I'm afraid of you."
Printed on the script, the line is the same. And it has another problem: the writers neglected to look at a real chain of command. There are two layers of civilian leadership between the President and a four-star general: the Secretary of the Army and the Secretary of Defense. When the General says he answers only to the President, he's in fact dissing the two Secretaries. A Sergeant may pray to God directly, but he had better talk to a few officers before talking to the General. Likewise, the General should talk to the Secretary of the Army before going to the President. Also, at the time the film was made, there was still the theoretical possibility of a five-star General, which would be yet another layer of leadership between a four-star general and the President.
You might be saying "Well, maybe in the world the movie takes place in, generals really do answer directly to the President." Let's say the Army in the movie has ten four-star generals. There would also be at least two four-stars in the Marine Corps and maybe another ten from the Air Force, plus ten four-star admirals in the Navy. That would mean at more than thirty four-star officers for the President to supervise directly, not to mention the Directors of the CIA, NSA, FBI, INS, etc. The President would be a much busier man. So it makes much more sense for all the four-star officers to report to one of three Secretaries (Marine four-star generals answer to the Secretary of the Navy), and those three Secretaries answer to the Secretary of Defense. The President, instead of getting reports from thirty different subordinates, just gets a report from the Secretary of Defense.
Also, how does Zod know that four stars on the shoulder means "General"? There are so many trinkets and baubles on an Army uniform that an alien can be forgiven if he doesn't know which one signifies rank. I suppose that if we accept that Kal-el's diamond-enclosed "S" is a pre-existing symbol from Krypton, we should let this one go.
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