Charlie Sheen: shut up!

Supposedly, CBS is going to war on Charlie Sheen by trying to take all his money so he can't support his family. Weren't they paying him about $2 million for each episode of Two and a Half Men? Talk about ungrateful. If he should be angry at any institution for taking his money that should be the IRS. Without a good tax accountant, Charlie Sheen could be losing as much as half of each paycheck to taxes. I'm no mathematician, but half of roughly $2 million is still a lot of money. Is Charlie blowing the rest of his money on coke and porn stars?

Besides, there's a way out for stars who don't save their "Back to the Future money": do DirecTV commercials like Christopher Lloyd. I can picture it just now: "With DirecTV, a sober, soulless sex hound like me can watch reruns of my hit TV show anytime I want anywhere: in my at-home rehab, in the car on my way to court to fight for joint custody of my children, etc."

Oh, and what about residuals? Maybe a normal person—with a normal brain that can't process the rock star from Mars that is Charlie Sheen—would live just fine with Charlie's residual checks.